Shiver
by PhoenixKeir
Summary: Because everyday, it was a nightmare, it was pain, it was unbearable, and as the candle flickered and died, he was plunged into darkness. All he could do was Shiver.
1. Shiver

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything in this story

_Shiver_

The darkness was comforting.

It takes away the brightness that illuminated the treachery that you had to endure when the light cuts through everyday. How he wished it was thick and black, for the sake of not being able to know.

Even so, the room was not completely dark. There was a small candle that was sitting the corning, lighting up the room with a vague glow. The smoke that rose from the flames switched directions with the fire. The roof was covered with greyish soot; it seemed as if nobody had been in there for a number of years.

But there had been someone there. In fact, there was someone in it at this very moment.

This person was leaning against the wall opposite the candle. Dark black hair rested in front of blood red eyes that contained hatred and rage.

Rage for the one he had been sworn to kill.

The room was deathly silent. No movements but the smooth motions of the cold wind that blew in from the slight cracks that snaked up the walls.

This place was the definition of scary.

Sasuke did not move; if he moved, he would make himself vulnerable. He would be vulnerable to the beasts, the monsters. They would come; rip people from the inside out. But Sasuke was no stranger to these monsters. He was used to it; after all every time he walked to his house, into the compound, he saw them.

These monsters, these ghosts, it was nothing new. His family _–his dead family- _but not just them. The memories. The bitter memories.

The memories always brought back pain. The feeling as though you can't get rid of the violence that plagued your mind. No matter what. But, he could not escape this place. He never would be able to. The feelings that bubbled up every time his brother _–that man- _or his family _–them-. _It didn't change anything though. It never did, never would.

The fact that he could feel the claws ripping his skin, the screams that entered his ears, the pain that spread through his body. [The way it felt as if it was happening]

Everything that happened in this place was not real. [It was his mind. Dark. Twisted]

But this was as real as it got. It was life. [But not all of it]

Because everyday, it was a nightmare, it was pain, it was unbearable, and as the candle flickered and died, he was plunged into darkness.

All he could do was _Shiver._


	2. Burst

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything in this story.

_Shiver_

_Chapter 2 Burst_

It was cold and hot.

It was dark and bright.

It was good and bad.

It was real and unreal.

It was normal and strange.

Many thoughts contradicted themselves in his mind. It made his head ache and throb with each jumbled memory. Nothing made any sense at all. Probably, possibly, never would.

He was weak. He was strong.

He was a genius. He was a lonely boy.

He was an Uchiha. He did not deserve the Uchiha pride.

What in life was he sure of? His fostered hatred? Maybe. But he doubted it. He never knew anything, he always thought.

Why think? It was deceitful. It was irritating. It was painful. Pain eating away at his mental and physical heart. It was a feeling he was sure he would never get rid of. Ever. And that's the way it would always, always be.

Sasuke was sure of one thing. He was lost and confused.

It was most likely the only one thing in life he had ever been sure of. He had been sure that Itachi was to be admired but, turns out he was wrong. He couldn't find his path. He couldn't hold onto a lost path. He couldn't find a lost hope.

Was he a survivor? No. Definitely not. He was not a survivor but he was a coward.

If only his dead family could see him now. Laugh at him and make fun of how weak he was. It was a long, unfaithful conquest. Why did he even bother trying? It was said that if you didn't try, then you would never know.

Well, what if you did fail? Fail every time. Is that something worth doing? Embarrassment for knowledge?

Why did life have to be such a complex and confusing game? He knew he was losing.

He had been losing ever since that day. The day of the massacre. Stupid stupid Itachi. If he hadn't killed the family, he wouldn't be here. He would be living a happy life with his family _–undead family-. _It was a lost hope. Just like everything else.

His life was a waste. His breathe was a waste. He was not even worth killing. That's why he remained in this world.

That's why he stood alone, waiting, waiting for something that he knew would never ever come. But he knew this. Because Tomorrow never comes. No matter how much he wanted it to. It was another lost cause. Why did everything in his life have to be fake? Why couldn't anything he ever touched stay pure? Why couldn't he stop infecting the world with his darkness?

His thoughts contradicting himself again. His head hurt where he smashed it during training. He stopped thinking.

He felt like he would _burst._


	3. Running

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything in this story.

_Shiver _

_Chapter 3 Running_

If Sasuke Uchiha said that he wasn't running, he was lying. It was an undeniable truth. He had been running ever since he had fled from his house and ran down the streets; screaming at the top of his lungs to not be killed. But he was _not _worth killing. He knew that too.

Running from his future. He lived in the shadows. He was running from the one he was sworn to kill. That was why as he stared _–glared- _at his reflection in the mirror. Blood red eyes, dark black hair, and an emotionless face were reflected back at him. That was also why as he stared at his reflection, he felt anger beginning to flow through his veins, why he smashed his fist right through the mirror and shattered his reflection, why he ignored the hot blood running down his knuckles.

He was running from his thoughts.

He was running from his friends.

He was running from his village.

He was running from his future.

He was running from his past.

He was running from his memories.

He was running from his feelings.

He was running from everything important to him.

He was running from everything that tried to help him.

Because he did not want to know. He did not want to be helped. He wanted to feel alone. He wanted to be able to make his hatred grow.

Everything was so frustrating. Everything was so confusing. If he ran, he would not have to face any of this. Ever.

And that was his motivation to keep on going, to not look back, to ignore the pain gripping at his chest. That was what kept him moving on from everything.

But everything caught up with you at one point or another.

But all it took was a few words from one person. A few words that made everything back to what it had used to be. But things couldn't be the way they used to be.

That was why he did not stop

That was why the pain would never numb.

That's why he would always be the lonely little boy he had used to be.

That was why he was _running._


	4. Hesitation

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything in this story.

_Shiver_

_Chapter 4 Hesitation_

It was said that he who hesitates is lost. It wasn't always true. It was sometimes. But not always. He felt like a stupid, confused little boy. He always had been, always would be, no need for denying it when it was nothing but the truth. And the truth hurt. It always did.

Sometimes you search for answers and when you find them, you aren't sure that you ever should have been searching.

It was an endless chain of murder and pain. This world. The world. This absolutely horrible world. Perhaps, it would be better off to be destroyed; but there were innocent people.

Because everyday of his life he stood there, not making any moves, hardly even breathing, simply gauging reactions and observing habits. Noting everything unusual.

That's what it meant to be truly powerful. Knowing you enemies and know how to fight your battles. But it also took skill; that was the greatest factor; if you have no skill, you can't win and that destroys the point of even trying in the first place.

Everything was so surreal when you stood still and did nothing. But sometimes nothing was a lot. But that was in rare, rare cases. Assuming, you knew what that meant.

It was his fault; for not completing his goal yet, for not saving his clan, for not avenging his clan. It was his entire fault.

It was always his fault. His fault for the breaking up of Team 7. His fault for destroying the heart of Sakura _–the pink haired girl- _and wrecking a friendship with Naruto _–Kyuubi- _and betraying Kakashi _–Copy-cat Ninja- _and for leaving his village.

Everything always seemed to come straight back in a circle and point straight at him as if he were standing in a crowd of people wearing black and holding a bright neon sign saying 'point at me'.

It was not easy being a genius _–or they thought genius, possibly coward- _and trying to live up to expectations _–expectations that were way too high-_ that he would never match up to.

He was the tragic hero. The lone survivor. The Uchiha. But he was one thing. Sasuke Uchiha. But that was all.

Just Sasuke.

The normal boy.

But, it was all a lie.

He was not just Sasuke.

He was not a normal boy.

It was not true.

And it was said that he who hesitates is lost.

And deep down, Sasuke knew that he _hesitated_ way too much.


	5. Perfection

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything in this story.

_Shiver_

_Chapter 5 Perfection_

What was the definition of perfection?

The state or quality of being or becoming perfect.

The highest degree of proficiency, skill, or excellence, as in some art.

A perfect embodiment or example of something.

A quality, trait, or feature of the highest degree of excellence. the highest or most nearly perfect degree of a quality or trait.

The act or fact of perfecting.

Sasuke was not perfect. And he knew this. And he accepted it. Like all other thing in his life, he knew this was just something to embrace.

Maybe part of the reason he was so good at accepting that he was not perfect or the definition of perfection was the fact that he thought Itachi was. Itachi was perfection.

If Sasuke was perfect, then that would make him more like Itachi than he ever wanted to be.

Sasuke Uchiha would gladly say that he did not want to be perfect.

Perfection was so overrated.

Everything was so overrated.

He was so sick of all these things _–this isn't in, this is-_ all these things that said that he was doing things wrong.

Did it ever occur to them that maybe he did not want to do things right? Right wasn't always the way that worked.

The fact that you could it by yourself, in your own way, was what made it right in his own mind. His own perfection. That was all he cared about.

Other than revenge.

Other than the fact that he was an avenger.

Other than the fact that he tried to destroy bonds with his former team and failed.

All that mattered was that people accepted him for who he wanted to be and not to try to change who he was. You could not change someone. You are who you are. And nothing could not change that.

He had found this out the hard way. He always found things out the hard way. Nothing was ever easy for him. But that was life. Who ever said that life had to be fair?

He didn't and was certain that not many would want to _–to scared; the wimps-_ because they were too stupid and just went with the flow.

Sometimes wasn't it good not to go with the current?

Sometimes wasn't it better to take a stand and get through their minds what was right and what was not?

It didn't matter.

This was his definition of _perfection._


	6. Reflection

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto or anything in this story.

_Shiver_

_Chapter 6 Reflection_

Sasuke Uchiha hated mirrors.

It was not because he was afraid of some monster hopping out and attempting to murder him.

It _was because_ he hated his looks.

He hated his reflection.

He hated his reflection because he looked like him _-Itachi-_. Because he hated being called a pretty boy. He did not want people to call him hot.

He was not hot. If anyone said he was hot, Sasuke's mental answer was 'I'm not', because he truly wasn't despite the people that had all fallen for him. And people always got their heartbroken. Didn't they know when they should stop following someone?

Apparently not, because, they still liked him. Still would even if he told them he hated them and to leave him alone. Still would even if he betrayed them. And, the saddest part, was, that they would still _chase_ after him.

They were so pathetic. He was _not_ interested. For the last _–probably not- _time ever _–for a few hours-. _

They would never stop. They would never resign. They would never ever leave him alone. Why not? He didn't know why stupid _–foolish- _girls. He hated them and he always would.

He did not like mirrors.

That was why he absolutely delighted in destroying the silver, glassy surface, sharp pieces embedding themselves into his knuckles, warm blood splattering onto cold walls. Things like these were imbedded into his mind.

And he still hated mirrors.

Because he looked like someone he did not want to and he hated his life. He hated his friends _–not really-._ He hated his brother _–or he wished he did-. _He hated Orochimaru _–something he knew he was sure of-. _He hated his village _–or missed it-._

Sasuke Uchiha hates his _reflection._


	7. Haunted

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto or anything in this story.

_Shiver_

_Chapter 7 Haunted_

Do the dead become ghosts? Do ghosts exist? Do spirits exist? Can we see them? Can they see us? Can they harm us?

These were common questions that were, most likely, asked everyday. But the biggest question was 'do we know'?

Sasuke Uchiha knew.

Ghosts did _exist._

Spirits do _exist._

We _can_ see them.

They _can't _see us.

They _can _harm us.

Sasuke knew. He saw them everyday. They were memories. Actually, they were much more than memories; they were what kept him alive, they were what scared the very wits out of him.

They laughed. They walked. They talked. They ran. They played. They fought. They did everything a normal person would. They could talk to each other, smile, touch each other and even more!

They were scary. They were nice. They were confusing.

They shouldn't be there. Sasuke wanted to yell 'Go away, your supposed to be dead!' or 'Leave me alone, I don't want to remember!' because that was what they did. They made him remember.

Remember the massacre. Remember how he was too weak to save them. Remember how he was supposed to avenge them. Remember all the times they enjoyed.

They made him remember things he did not want to remember. Things he wished to leave in his past. Buried and alone. Secrets buried alone with no way of escaping to tell others. It was a nightmare.

They followed him everywhere. If he looked at an empty street, he would see them, talking, laughing, and if he looked at a street filled with people, he would see them, mingling with other people, alive people. They never gave him peace.

They would never give him peace until he got them their revenge. It was insane! Why couldn't they just leave him alone? He did not want to see them! Unless they were alive, that is.

He would give anything for them to be back but this was nothing more than a pipe dream, incapable of happening, and nothing more than a silly hoax.

They were always following him.

Sasuke Uchiha was _haunted._


	8. Instigator

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or anything in this story.

_Shiver_

_Chapter 8 Instigator_

Sasuke did not like telling people what to do. The only time he did was when he needed to. Was that not a good reason?

He hated people who were thrilled by the notion of telling people what to do, ordering them around, and screaming at them. That was not how he worked. He hated those people. They were nothing more than fools.

He was glad to say that he did not like to give orders. It was perfectly fine to be a leader and not like giving order.

You have to do what you have to do.

That was how he put it. In his mind of course. He would never say that out loud.

This was a simple fact of life. A fact that he could not change, would not change.

Why bother? Trying to change something that was meant to be was, clearly, stupid. Yet, here he stood, still hating people who gave orders and enjoyed giving them.

It was unliterary for them. They were unliterary. All offence intended.

They deserved it, after all. They were stupid hereditary fools who knew nothing about life.

This was not the order of things. People should be able to what they wanted without being ordered around by some brainless borgs.

Well, that was his opinion. If it matted to anyone _–which it didn't-. _

Why did people even do something as degrading as taking orders from people who were so below them? It was beyond him. He would never ask and they would never answer because he wouldn't understand and they would not explain.

That much was obvious. If you couldn't figure that out, well then, let's say you have some slight issues.

If not, you're messed up somewhere upstairs. But either way, he would never understand what was impossible to explain. It would be a waste of time and breathe.

Something he would never try to correct or right because if people were not strong enough to take a stand for themselves, they did not deserve to be helped. They were simply scared.

They were scared of things that they had yet to see and know. That was truly foolish.

They were true fools. Why did they even live if they were going to spend it doing something they did not enjoy?

They were weird. And too weak to do the noble thing and kill themselves. Apparently, opposites attract, but, then wouldn't that mean that he would be attracted to them?

That was something that was not going to happen.

And he hated instigators.

Sasuke would say with pride, loud and clear, that he was not an _instigator._


	9. Tremble

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or anything in this story.

_Shiver_

_Chapter 9 Tremble_

What was fear?

A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

Sasuke was not afraid of very many things. Years of surviving alone taught you that scary things were really not that scary.

And he had lived all alone since he was eight. Sometime between the age of 8 and 13 he had overcome nearly all of his fears.

There were very many foolish fears.

Like Anatidaephobia. The fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you.

Pteronophobia – The fear of being tickled.

Russophobia – Fear of Russians.

Zemmiphobia – Fear of the great mole rat.

Genuphobia – Fear of knees.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia – Fear of long words.

Must I continue?

All those fears were clearly insane, embarrassing, and more or less awkward. If you were afraid of one of those things then, obviously, you have a slight issue. Or perhaps a major issue.

But fear was not the issue. The fact that when he was afraid of things it made him tremble.

He was afraid of watching people close to him die. He was afraid of facing Itachi. He was afraid of failing, not living up to people's expectations. Pain was different things to everybody.

He hated watching his family die in front of his eyes. It still hurt, even after seeing it so many times. But nothing could take away the sting in his heart.

That hurt would never go away. There was a gaping hole in his heart that would never heal. It belonged to his family.

Though most people of Konoha had healed from the tragedy of the Uchiha clan, Sasuke knew he never would. Because he was family, he knew them in a different way, from a different perspective.

Thing would never be the same again. Even if he did avenge the clan, what would he do afterwards?

His life's goal would be completed. What would he live for after all was said and done?

Sasuke did not know. In fact, he had no idea.

He was confused and lost, _again._

And he had to _tremble _at that point.


	10. Goodbye

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or anything in this story.

_Shiver_

_Chapter 10 Goodbye_

Sasuke hated goodbyes. They meant something was over. Whether it was saying goodbye for a big reason or a little one, he still hated it.

There was one exception though. He did want to say goodbye to his family, his clan.

He never got the chance. He wished he could have. If he had just given his mom a hug, his dad a 'good morning'.

It would have made things so much easier in his life.

But things were not easy. Things did not get easy.

Sasuke knew this. And this is part of why he did not like to say goodbye.

It meant the end of something. Something little, something big, he would not say goodbye. It was interesting in an introspective way.

It was something beyond a simple imagination. It took ingenuity. It took the brains to figure out a complex strategy, an insane mind. A genius simply put.

And he did not want to bother. Just seeing the warped face, covered in blood, made him want to stop. But he did not want to bother with something that seeing a dead body covered in blood was nothing compared to.

It was too much trouble. It was a waste, anyways. And now saying goodbyes seemed a bit better. But even then, Sasuke still did not like saying goodbyes.

Never would. Never wanted to. It made sense to not enjoy saying goodbye. In a sick, twisted way.

It seemed kind of awkward to run from all of his problems, yet still hate saying goodbye.

He thought it was twisted but then again he was the one who was twisted, so you wouldn't want to trust what he thought anyways.

And now, here he was, again, contradicting himself.

He always contradicted himself.

It was just the way that he worked.

He worked in odd ways, as he was constantly reminded by others around him.

He knew this too. And it was a fact of life. Just like a whole lot of other things. It's not like it made a difference, anyways.

Now, all he had to do was finish all of his other goals. And even then he had to say goodbye. Say goodbye to that murder. That man. His brother. Itachi.

Damn. Here he was back at square one again. It seemed like no matter what he tried, he failed.

Why did everything always go in a circle and make him restart again?

Why couldn't everything just work the way he wanted and intended them too?

Now, Sasuke had a good reason to hate saying _goodbye._


	11. Solitude

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or anything in this story.

_Shiver_

_Chapter 11 Solitude_

Solitude was something that most people did not get used to. Sasuke was not one of these people. He had grown accustomed the solitude. Ever since his family had been murdered. He was used to walking into his house and hearing nothing but his own thoughts and memories.

The quietness of his surrounding had left him distant and cold. He did not talk nearly as much as he had used to. He hardly ever spoke now. Only when he was spoken to or sometimes to insult someone or occasionally when he simply felt the need to say something, whether it was for the sake of hearing his voice or because it made him feel real.

It really was weird. He guessed that solitude was one of the things that had changed him, shaped his life.

His parents hadn't cared for him all that much. If they didn't, then why did Sasuke feel like he missed them?

The only person who ever really acknowledged him back then was Itachi. Just thinking about it really made Sasuke clench his fists in anger. It happened everytime he heard Itachi or the Uchiha name or one of his family members name. It was confusing, complex.

Sasuke had become desolate.

He had become numb.

Everytime he got punched, he could feel the fists hitting his face, but, he felt no pain, it was as if he was completely numb.

It was a strange sensation but one that Sasuke could not describe. One that he would not bother trying to describe. That would be awkward, anyways.

It was odd, that he knew how well what solitude was when he was scarcely even a teenager. People had always said that his eyes looked way older than his age. He didn't even bother to question why. He knew why.

And he knew that it was true. He had seen things that most people his age could not even dream of. More than they could imagine.

They all held happy thoughts their future. Caring for their parents when they became elderly, when they were Jounin's and could go on A-rank and S-rank missions.

They were all fools. They knew nothing.

And Sasuke knew everything. [But not really]

Sasuke enjoyed the _solitude._


	12. Forgiveness

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto nor do I own anything else that is in this story.

**Authors Note!!!! Please READ!!!! **Okay, this is a very important point to this story –from now on the story takes place after Sasuke has killed Itachi, so it may seem to take on a different view or demeanour.

_Shiver_

_Chapter 12 Forgiveness_

"_Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.__"_

Sasuke was far from forgiveness. He knew he had many sorries to give. And he knew somewhere deep down, he looked forward to the day that he gained enough courage to go back to his home, his village.

He knew that one of the first steps to forgiveness was to forgive himself. But he knew that would take time. He never did get over things very easily. Now he had to face the consequences.

Because everything has consequences and you had to deal with them just like you had to deal with everything else in life.

You learned to move on. To forgive but to not forget. And he knew that that was what he needed to do but things were much easier said than they were done.

And he had the feeling that he would be having a hard time with something like this. He was sure that if he was back to his old twelve year old self, hell-bent on revenge, he would have scoffed at the idea of forgiving. He also knew that his twelve year old self would never have thought that things would end up the way they had ended up.

It was something that he had, admittedly, never guessed what had happened. But he had gained what he needed. He had got the power he was so quickly promised. But, he had to ask himself, was it worth it?

The answer to that question was no. If he had known back then, what he now knew, things would be different, they would be better. And he wished he had known that way back then but he could not change the past no matter how much he wanted to.

Because in life you did not get second chances. You had one chance and if you messed that up you had to live with the consequences. And there was absolutely nothing that you could do about it.

All the casualties who had done nothing would still be happy or alive. Even all the people he had left behind would know.

But like before, you didn't get second chances in life. If you did, then you wouldn't learn a thing. You could just go back and change what you didn't like.

Second chances were nothing but pity, you didn't do it right, well, I guess you get to try again. Seemed kind of mocking, did it not?

And that was a coward's way out.

And sadly enough, Sasuke knew that if he had the choice, he would take a second chance.

Sasuke knew that he had a long way to go before he earned _forgiveness._


	13. Waiting

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or anything else that is in this story.

_Shiver_

_Chapter 13 Waiting_

"_Everything you want is out there __waiting__ for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you. But you have to take action to get it.__"_

Sasuke Uchiha was aware of the fact that he was waiting. He was not aware of what it was that he was waiting for.

He wondered everyday, why he couldn't, _-wouldn't-_ forget. He never knew what he was doing since he had learned the truth.

He had no idea what he was supposed to do. He was still waiting for something. He did know that when he figured out what it was he was waiting for; he would know immediately that was what he had been waiting for.

It was weird. Knowing that he waiting for something that was unknown. It actually made Sasuke feel nervous and he turned his neck from side to side in anxiety every time he thought about it.

He felt kind of awkward just standing there and wondering, not making any mentionable moves that would actually make a difference to anybody. He had thought about this often. He had always wondered what he would do after he killed Itachi all the time.

And after he had found out the truth, he had cried. He had cried for the first time since he had grieved after the death of his parents. They hadn't even gotten a funeral and it made him clench his fists knowing that someone like Itachi was not even getting a funeral and was not going to be missed by as many people as he should be. Life was so unfair.

He hated how his life was now. He had another goal _–for revenge, surprise, surprise- _to destroy the elders of Konoha but he couldn't do that yet. Which left him back at the start; he was still waiting for something that was still completely unknown to him. He hated mysteries.

It felt like his life was stopped or in super slow motion. It had lost its sense of reality, its intenseness. It felt so boring now, so dead. And Sasuke had no idea how to bring it back to life. He still had yet to figure what to do with his life. Other than his goals, of course. But yet again, he could not accomplish his goals yet.

If he could, he wouldn't be waiting. He would be out accomplishing his goals. And vaguely he knew that his life was nothing but a huge chain of hatred. And he was okay with that.

And some time later he realized that he could do something. He could do something about this stupor that his life had landed itself in.

Sasuke stood up and stretched his arms, feeling them crack satisfyingly.

Sasuke knew that his time of _waiting _was over.


	14. Justice

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, Sasuke, and I also do not own anything that is inside of this story.

Please Read and Review.

_Shiver_

_Chapter 14 Justice_

"_Peace and justice are two sides of the same coin.__"_

Sasuke knew that the world would never be at peace. But he also knew that not all problems would be solved with justice. He knew that peace was completely different from justice. He had learned, he had observed, and he had overcome the obstacles to complete his goal, his dream _–but not really a dream because it was his reality-._

He also knew that some people had done truly terrible _–horrifying- _things in the past but he knew everyone deserved to have some chances, in other words they deserved some justice.

He wondered when things had gotten so complicated that he had no idea what to think, what to know, and what to observe. Things weren't the way that they used to be and he knew that things would always be hard from the moment he had woken up the night after the Uchiha massacre.

He had friends, he had a team, hell, he could even consider them a family but he had thrown all of it away and for what?

Power.

He was so selfish. He didn't deserve to have such nice and caring people around him. They should have helped someone who deserved it.

And Sasuke was absolutely certain that he missed them.

That was the empty feeling in his heart, next to the unhealable holes that belonged to his family and Itachi.

He knew he deserved this.

He knew he should be lying face down in the dirt for being a traitor. An unloyal, foolish little boy.

And that's all that he would ever be. Because he lived in the past and to grow up you needed to pull yourself out of the past and raise your head to the future.

Sasuke knew he was unable to do that. He was too selfish to do something like that. And he had to live with himself every single day _–every single, gruelling, day- _and know that he was too much of a coward to do what he knew was right.

Because he wished that every one in Konoha _–Kakashi-sensei, Naruto, Sakura- _would forget about him, forget about the things he had done. He wished that they would ignore his very existence.

Then Sasuke would know that he had received his own _justice._


	15. Shaking

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or Sasuke or anything else that is inside of this story.

_Shiver_

_Chapter 15 Shaking_

"_Cruelty and fear __shake__ hands together__."_

Uchiha Sasuke was shaking. Well, more specifically, his hands were shaking.

They always shook. Every time he heard certain names, certain events. They shook. He didn't know why, he didn't know how, they just shook. They just shook.

He wasn't afraid……

He _wasn't._

And he knows this. [or thinks he does]

They didn't simply just quiver lightly, they shook, violently. And he had no idea why. It had started a few years back. When he was eight years old actually. They started shaking. They just did.

It made people stare at him with concern written all over their faces and it made Sasuke clench his shaking hands and wish that they would just go away and leave him alone. It never worked though. They always stayed. Stayed and asked him if he was alright, stayed and asked him to get home, or, on a rare occasion, if he had a home.

That made him angry. Not angry at the person who asked him but anger at himself, anger at the person who caused it. But that had recently changed. He didn't get angry at the person who caused it, not anymore. But the people would still not leave him alone, no matter how much he told them to leave, that he was fine, that he would go home but he knew he wouldn't. He just told them so that they could get on with their own _goddamn _lives.

You think it could be simple. But no, apparently not. They had to know why they were shaking and how they were shaking.

It doesn't matter. [so he hopes]

But it does matter.

It _does._

Things did matter. He knew certain things mattered but had no idea really how much damage a few things left untamed could do. Just give it a year or two, minute or two, week or two, day or two, month or two, and you find it warped, twisted into something that you had no idea could even possibly happen.

Things like that just made life seem so much scarier. It was the little things that tore down the great things.

Itachi had been great. Amazing. Strong. [Even the strongest will fall]

The Uchiha clan was powerful. [How the strong have fallen.]

And that made the world seem a lot more complicated. So complicated that Sasuke placed his hands behind his head and weaved them together through his dark hair. It was so stupid. He had heard rumors that he had become like Itachi.

He was not Itachi. [Itachi was too good to be Sasuke]

He was _not._

But he was. [They were both the same]

That was the true reason he was _shaking._


	16. Taunted

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or Sasuke or anything that happens to be inside of this story.

_Shiver_

_Chapter 16 Taunted_

_"In truth the taunt made me even more determined to succeed."_

Sasuke had been taunted before. He had been insulted. He had been made fun of. It happened to everybody. No matter how perfect you are or how nice you happen to be. It was a common occurrence. In fact, in Oto, he had been taunted at least everyday by one sound-nin or another. He had grown accustomed to it now.

The taunts and remarks didn't really bother him but, rather, encouraged him to fuel himself even more and give it more than his normal one hundred percent. Of course, he always tried his hardest when he trained but when he had the determination, the drive, he could push himself a whole lot harder than simply from the motivation of trying to achieve his lifelong ambition.(not a dream because he had completed it)

And maybe, someday Sasuke would be able to get over this. He had learned all the lessons that could not be taught.

And now he had no more excuses.

It was only the true colors that he could shine.

And it occurred to him now, that he was never really strong.

But now it was okay.

Now it was okay….

Because all he really wished now was that he could go back in time and change everything that he had done wrong.

So now he realized, that maybe it wasn't their differences that had drawn him and Naruto together but, rather, their similarities. Because maybe opposites really didn't attract because maybe they were really opposites.

But who was he to speak?

Who was he to speak?

He couldn't even see through the deception that was his life, his only goal and now he had nothing left.

But now it was okay.

Now it was okay……

Because he had found something that he might have left.

And now he knew, he had been living a lie.

But he could fix it.

He could fix it.

Because he was trying hard for this. Because it was what he needed.

And now he had realized many things. Everything that he could ever hope to figure out. And he knows now how stupid he was. How stupid he is. And he does not need anybody to remind him of this. Because now he knew exactly what it was that he needed to do. And it required no response from anybody.

Because now there was only one thing that he had left.

And it was alright.

It was alright.

Because all he had left was his true colors.

And he had enough of all the foolish who say they had been _taunted._


	17. Choices

**Disclaimer:** I also do not own Naruto or Sasuke or anything that is inside of this particular story, unfortunately. Miracles don't seem to come true for me very often. Actually not very often. Wait, I don' t think any miracle has ever come true for me. Oops, off topic here.

**ALSO:** This is the last chapter of the story and it is also the rewritten version of the last chapter.

**(Again) Also:** I would very much like to give thanks to one author: SkywardShadow - for reviewing all my stories. I appreciate it very much.

Also thanks to:  
angelsxdemons  
Hello Mitty

**Warning!:** Spoilers for the latest manga chapters.

_Shiver_

Chapter 17 Choices

_The single clenched fist lifted and ready,  
Or the open hand held out and waiting.  
Choose:  
For we meet by one or the other._

_________________________________

"Life is a mere dream, a fleeting shadow on a cloudy day."

______________________________

Itachi walked slowly forwards to Sasuke, who was backed up against the wall with nowhere to go.

Itachi was getting closer. Ten steps. Nine steps. Eight steps. Seven steps.

Then, suddenly, almost quicker than Sasuke could comprehend, the world whirled around him. The world in front of him disappeared and colors flashed against his now burning eyes. It felt as though he was spinning. Then, in a flash of a second, it all ended. His feet hit against hard concrete and his knees buckled, barely managing to stay upright.

Then, again, his world spun. Then there was nothing. Nothing but a chilling blackness. He tried to move his body but it was as though there were metal chains around him, holding him back.

He saw his eight year old self again. It showed him asking Itachi to train him and Itachi saying his trademark line and poking him in the forehead.

Unconsciously, both versions of him reached up to their heads and rubbed the spot dead in the center of their foreheads.

Itachi walked towards the door.

In front of his eyes the scenery changed and Itachi was murdering the clan. His katana ripping violently through the members of his clan.

The vision changed again and again through the moments he spent with his brother when he was younger.

Then his vision changed back to Itachi walking towards him.

Six steps. Five steps.

Sasuke could feel his own breath against his face as his brother got closer and closer.

Four steps. Three steps.

He could see his brothers face more clearly than he had in years and years.

Two steps.

So close.

Close.

One step.

Itachi came to a halt in front of him.

Sasuke watched his brothers hand reach up to take his eyes.

But then the hand turned its angle and hit directly on his forehead and trailed down slightly, smearing blood on his pale skin.

Then Sasuke heard Itachi say in a whisper, his voice strong but quiet.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke…… There won't be a next time."

Then Sasuke watched his brother fall.

Watched. His brother. Fall.

Itachi landed on the ground facing the sky.

A small smirk went on Sasuke's face for a brief moment before disappearing as Sasuke, too, fell onto the cold ground next to his dead brother.

Everything went black.

______________________________

Tears fell unrelentingly down porcelain skin.

Sasuke could not help but cry.

After all, he had murdered his brother when all his brother had done was protect him.

He thought he had seen through Itachi but he hadn't even come close to seeing through him.

He knew his brother so well, yet he hardly knew him at all.

And Sasuke remembered.

He remembered activating his sharingan that night. He remembered chasing after Itachi and knocking off his Konoha head protector.

And he remembered Itachi crying.

And he knew what Madara had told him was the truth.

Sasuke would finish this. He would get revenge.

After all, revenge was his specialty.

____________________

Sasuke jumped from tree to tree.

Suigetsu, Karin and Juugo were all following him.

He was going to Konoha. He was going to destroy Konoha and those elders who ruined his brothers life.

Then Karin's shout broke him from his thoughts and he saw Madara appear ahead of them.

"Hey Sasuke."

His team all landed on the tree in front of them and came to a stop.

He heard Suigetsu say, "Shit! Bad timing."

Then Sasuke questioned him, "How did you know where I was?"

Sasuke could not read his facial expression due to his mask.

"Don't underestimate me. It's within my powers."

"What do you want with me now? Taka is no longer a part of Akatsuki. We have no further use for you."

"I said I'd have to kill you if you betrayed Akatsuki and you broke your promise to me."

"What are you talking about?"

"The eight-tailed beast."

This time Karin cut in. "But we found the eight-tailed beast and brought him to you!"

"It was a fake. In other words, you failed. The eight-tailed beast pulled one over on you. I'm really disappointed in you guys."

Madara's sharingan activated through the eye-hole of his mask.

Suigetsu retorted for them. "So what do you want us to do about it? It's not our business anymore!"

"No… You will finish your last job as a part of Akatsuki. But I don't care about him anymore. There's something else I want you to do."

Then Sasuke spoke up again. "What If I say no?

"Then you'll have to fight me to get to Konoha. I won't let you pass."

Lightning pulsed through Sasuke's left hand as he said, "I'll force my way through…."

Sasuke lunged for Madara and went straight through him as Madara spoke. "It's a little late to go to Konoha now. Your goal is futile now…. Too bad."

"What do you mean?"

"Konohagakure no longer exists."

Karin shouted at him. "What do you mean?

A new voice entered the conversation. "I'll explain."

Sasuke questioned him. "Who are you?"

Madara answered for him. "Calm down… He's with me," Then he turned to Zetsu. "So… Who's the new Hokage?"

Zetsu replied back. "Some guy named Danzo."

"I thought as much."

Then Sasuke cut in. "Danzo… is Hokage?"

Madara answered. "That's right… He's one of the elders who drove your brother to do what he did and now he's the new Hokage."

Anger spread through Sasuke like a wild fire. "What the hell happened in Konoha?"

"One of my minions, Pain, destroyed the village but because you and Pain have made such a commotion, the five kages have begun to move."

Sasuke glared slightly. "The five kages…"

"They're holding a meeting."

Zetsu volunteered to tell the rest.

After Zetsu explained the rest, Suigetsu questioned him. "This Naruto defeated Pain all alone?"

"That's right. He's gotten really strong… He's probably stronger than Sasuke now."

"Heh" Sasuke laughed. "I don't care about that… The five kages are the problem."

Suigetsu wondered what to do next. "What're you gonna do? Konoha's gone… Danzo's your target right? If he's gonna be at this meeting, maybe that's where we should head."

Sasuke didn't say anything.

Suigetsu, looking worried, questioned again. "Wh… What? Am I wrong?"

Sasuke did reply this time. "We'll go to the meeting and kill the kages. Our plans have changed."

"Good." Madara commented.

Karin spoke up about getting there. "So... Where is this meeting?"

Madara turned to Zetsu. "Zetsu."

Zetsu split into two and one half jumped to the next tree. "Follow me!"

As they moved Juugo asked Sasuke if they could trust them.

Sasuke's reply was simple. "Let's just see what happens. If he tries anything, I'll just use Amaterasu on him. There's something I've been wanting to test out anyway."

As Sasuke headed to the meeting of the kage's he wondered when Naruto had gotten so powerful.

As they got closer all Sasuke could hear were his brother's last words ringing in his ears.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke…… There won't be a next time."

_____________________________

_Darkness serves a purpose: to show us that there is redemption through chaos_


End file.
